Goodbye Shermy the Chemmy. *Take some time to read bah..=)*
First off, thank you all so much for the dinner on Friday. It was really touching and warm for me, and I really didn’t expect all these. Thanks to Yibing and Evelyn especially, for planning the dinner and the scrapbook. (oh, Evelyn, you know I always thought you hated me!)
I still remember the first lesson. I walked in and immediately set everyone to do the experiment without even properly introducing myself. Neither did I do the ritualistic ice breaker thing where everyone stands up to introduce themselves. I actually felt that was pointless because I preferred to know each and everyone of you personally, but I guess I gave the impression that I was cold and proud. It’s regrettable that we started off on a bad note, mainly because that was the very very first lesson, and your class was the first I met. I didn’t know how to go about giving myself a better impression, and I guess things went downhill from then on. When I first saw your class, I could already feel that the class was really diverse, and the general air was unwelcoming. Maybe, many of you moaned silently that your chem teacher in JC had to be a relief. Of course, I was rather unhappy back in JC when I got a maths and a bio relief, so I don’t see any wrong with thinking that way.
I wanted to do things in an unconventional way, which I felt that I succeeded somewhat, but I was rather dejected when you guys were unreceptive to many of those ideas which other classes accepted, especially the Atomic Structure ones, which were actually thought up in my JC days. My friend had said that they were really interesting, so I dug those up to use them to teach you guys. My analogies didn’t work well too, maybe because of the distance between us. The frequency just couldn’t meet.
I admit I wanted to give up on the class once or twice, but I knew there are many of you with much potential. I wanted to give it a second chance, and also myself a chance too. But it was then on I decided to be less animated and present less analogies, as well as being much more serious in class. I guess this led to many lessons turning boring. Inexperience on my part, and this will be something I will regret. As I told you guys, I only could give around 60% of the kind of lesson that I wished I could conduct. Therefore, I feel I must apologise for this. If only I could be more independent of others’ impressions of me, and not let the feel of the class affect my lessons.
I rarely ever forced you guys to finish your tutorials, because I never liked teachers to breathe down necks for tutorials. Moreover I know many of you have commitments, and other matters to attend to, but it would come to make me a little disappointed when you guys turn up with tutorials undone many many times. Even then I insisted on my mindset, believing that one day my message to you guys will get across, that your tutorials, your education, is your own responsibility to create a stable foundation for your future. It also made me sigh when some always slept in class. Although once again, I never liked to wake people up, because I too fell asleep in lessons before. However, one thing I would like you guys to keep in mind is to have self discipline. Don’t look back and realize you wasted your youth. Rather, look back and admire the great stable structure you have constructed for yourself; no one else, but yourself.
Do you guys know, before I came back to teach, I watched the whole GTO (Great Teacher Onizuka) anime series. I wanted, albeit childishly, to be like him in the show, inspiring his students, and also being personal with many of them. Which is why I acted like a boy sometimes and also talked to some of you individually on MSN. I wanted you guys to not feel a barrier between a teacher and you. Moreover I never liked to consider myself a teacher. I’m much more like a senior than a teacher, as those who talked to me would know. But of course, given the bad note that we started on, this became a feat. I realized I could not fulfil what I had set out to do, and occasionally I would have things that I would like to tell some of you individually, but could never find the chance to.
Leaving you guys just like that fills me with a sense of incompletion. However, I have to move on first, and this chapter in my life shall have to close. It was nevertheless fun, when I think back about teaching your class. Bittersweet, it was, but it was really consoling to me to have seen you guys improve so much since the first lecture test, to become one of the top classes in the cohort now. Of course, I daren’t claim that much credit for your phenomenal improvement, yet I bask in the glory of you guys. I will be gone next term, maybe just a memory for you guys as well, but, I hope what I wanted to convey to you guys stick. Continue to challenge yourself, and be a better person, every day, hour, minute, even the next moment. Live each day well, because before you know it, you would have grown up, and will be looking back at your JC days, as I am now, thinking of what I could have done better.
Remember guys, as long as you can motivate yourself well, there is no limit. Many of you have high potential just that you are not confident to tap into it. Stand tall, yet step firmly. Believe in the power of your self, and achieve what you used to think wasn’t possible. Yet in the process, remember to have fun.
P.S. It’s darn long because I didn’t have as much time to tell you guys stuff as I had with the other classes…=(
Shermy the Chemmy
Bouncing bouncing bouncing...